What makes a family healthy?
Families are healthy when everyone takes care of themselves, and each other.
Each person has to work on their own self esteem and support the well-being of their family members.
This does not mean that it is anyone's job to make sure that someone else has a high self-esteem.
It is however, our job to not intentionally hurt anyone else's sense of self worth.
VOcabulary from the book
Nuclear family- a couple and their children, any gender or sexuality
Adoption- the legal process through which a couple will take another persons' child into their family
Single parent family- only one parent lives with children
Extended family- group of close relatives living together or near each other, grandparents, teachers, uncles, aunts, or cousins
Blended family- when parents remarry and children from both parents live together
Foster family- when people take care of a child while their biological family is not able to take care of them
All members of the family are meant to share responsibilities, chores and responsibilities can be adjusted according to age.
Youth can help with cleaning and cooking regardless of gender.
Cooking and cleaning are basic life skills.
Household Chores Appropriate for Adolescents of Any Age
What is Self esteem?
Confidence in one's own worth; self-respect.
Respect? a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Many psychologists think that high self-esteem has a positive effect on health, while low self-esteem has a negative effect on health.
Accept yourself and treat yourself well, with self- compassion.
Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
While there is little doubt that low self-esteem is problematic and often leads to depression and lack of motivation, trying to have higher self-esteem can also be problematic if it is done by putting other people down.
Family members get to help each other with
Teaching Everyone Self-COmpassion
Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment: Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.
Common humanity vs. Isolation: Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes.
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification: We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. Acknowledge it, feel what you feel, and let it go. The pain does not define you, the experience does not define you.
Why it can be hard to love ourselves sometimes
Some say that we give ourselves the love that we think we deserve, not what we actually deserve, we each deserve the best.
Sometimes we are taught that we don't deserve to be treated well and we need to unlearn that.
Oppression dynamics can lead us to believe that we don't deserve as much happiness as other people and we end up with internalized oppression.
Lack of Privilege can make us feel limited until we limit ourselves
Sometimes the past and limitations of the adults in our life lead us to hold ourselves back
Everything is constantly changing and the experience of the adult is at least over a decade old, there is still a lot you can learn from them, remember that you might have more opportunities than they did, or live in a more loving world, thankfully.
Healthy Family Dynamic Includes
Caring and Commitment
Respect and Appreciation
Healthy Family Practices
Resolving Conflicts: by focusing on collaboration and compromise
Expressing Emotions: being a safe space for elf expression is critical
Making decisions: as an egalitarian family unit where all members have an equal share in the decision making process
Managing Time: creating goals with timelines that are broken down into smaller steps so the members of the family can keep track of the progress
When the family needs help these services may help: family therapy, support groups, community involvement, individual counseling aside from family therapy
Step 1: Describe the problem:
Step 2: See the other persons point of view:
Step 3: Involve the other person:
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.