expressing ourselves

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Primary Emotions

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• Happiness
• Sadness
• Anger
• Fear
• Learned emotion

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MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

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Sometimes the way we feel is a response to our needs not being met

​Hierarchy of needs
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• Physical needs: food, water, sleep
• Safety: shelter from elements such as heat, cold, and rain, to feel safe from violence at home or in their community
• Belonging: connection with other people, we need acceptance and love needed for emotional health
• Esteem: approval, recognition, respect, appreciation, and attention 

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is there really a hierarchy? Or do we need all of these things at the same time?

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gratitude

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​Thinking of what you are thankful for immediately puts you in a good state of mind.  Telling people that you are thankful for their existence immediately puts them in a good state of mind, it is easy, and it is free.

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​EXPRESSING ANGER IN HEALTHY WAYSpg.42 in our book

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• Accept your feelings: It is ok to feel anger, denying your anger will not make it go away, and ignoring your anger can lead to more destructive behaviors later on.  Once you accept your anger you can work on expressing your anger in healthy ways. 

• Identify your triggers: Know what makes you angry, it might be a particular person or situation, thinking about events in your past, or thinking about your future, you can write down what you feel in a journal.  Know that your feelings are valid.  

• Describe your response: Reflect on or write down what you did in response to your anger, and what happened after you responded.  Reflect on whether or nor it helped relieve or process that anger.

 

• Find constructive alternatives:
  • ​​​Talk about it: After you feel better, try to discuss the problem.  Let the person know how you feel without blaming them, listen, with respect to what the other person has to say.  Even if talking does not fix the problem, you may feel ready to move on and see if they stop doing the thing that made you angry.  If you told them how you feel and they still continue to hurt you there is a possibility that they are trying to hurt you and you can consider setting boundaries with the person.  You can chose to talk to them less or only in certain places such as school or work.  You have the right to do whatever helps you feel safe.  

 

• Release excess energy: Physical activity to get the energy out, even a walk can be very helpful but punching things (soft inanimate things) works too, there is also dance and hiking. 

 

• Avoid certain situations: Leave a situation when you start to feel angry or change your activities if there is no other way to avoid the trigger.

 

• Avoid destructive behaviors: think of healthy alternatives such as art and music

 

• Ask for help: get feedback from supportive friends and family, look up community resources.

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• Social issue anger: Start a nonprofit organization or get involved in the solution, support organizations that are part of the solution

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