Sexual Health and Community Resources

12/2/2019

Sexual Health and Community Resources

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Be Empowered

You are free to make your own decisions.

It is important to take risks and benefits into consideration to see what level of physical intimacy you are prepared for.

Knowledge is power.

Hormonal Health

The pituitary gland is a small pea-sized gland that plays a major role in regulating vital body functions and general wellbeing. It is referred to as the body's 'master gland' because it controls the activity of most other hormone-secreting glands.

Sexual Health

There are some laws to take into consideration:

In New Mexico, the age of consent is 17 years old.
If an adult (an individual over the age of 18) has sex with a minor between the ages of 13 and 16, the adult may be prosecuted for 4th degree criminal sexual penetration.
Your status as a child is important to prevent exploitation

Risks:

Effect on emotional health
A change in the type of relationship
Risk of pregnancy
Risk of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)

Benefits could be:

Feeling more connected to your partner, you can feel more connected through emotional intimacy too.
Feeling empowered to make your own decision

You can feel empowered to make your own decision by not having sex too.

Forms of connection

A couple can have a close relationship without being sexually active through developing:

Openness:
- Feeling free to talk to each other
- Feeling safe being yourself
- Trying new things together
- Building memories
- Sharing insecurities
- Sharing what you are each proud of

Sharing:
- Stories of growth
- Life lessons
- Childhood stories
- Hopes and fears
- Dreams and goals
- Skills and knowledge

Affection
- cuddling
- Kissing
- Hand holding
- Being openly in a relationship, not hiding the relationship
- Backing each other up, defending each other calmly

Trust
- Being able to share experiences and feelings without the person violating your trust
- Being able to trust that your boundaries will be respected
- Not having to worry about dishonesty
- Not having to worry about cheating
- Not having to monitor anybody's freedom

Boundaries

Set clear limits, decide what your boundaries are before the relationship
Communicate your limits, a respectful partner will respect your limits
Avoid high pressure situations
Assert yourself

Celibacy

Choosing to not have sex

Sex can be an addiction since there is a chemical reward similar to that of any drug

Bonding with another can get you that chemical reward without sex

Looking for someone to have sex with can take time and energy

More time and energy for yourself

You might be too busy to build a long term relationship and might want to not risk neglecting anyone

Many people feel that celibacy helps them hold on to their creative energy

Birth Control

Sex Education

Sex Ed

The lifelong process of learning and exploring values and beliefs, navigate relationships, and manage sexual health.

No shaming

Nobody should judge you based on a number or slut shame/prude shame, as long as all that happens is truly your decision and you are safe.

Many people look back and realize that some of their experiences were the result of coercion and manipulation.

Unfortunately, sexual coercion has become so normalized that we stopped being able to identify it as rape, coerced consent is not consent at all.

It can be difficult to explain coercion to someone who thinks that coercion is ok, they might deny what they did, perhaps only to get away with it and convince you that they did not know any better, perhaps because they don't want to see themselves as a rapist.

A rapist can be a person of any sex or gender.

Sex Positive Checklist

For sex positive consent look at this checklist:

Do you trust each other?

Do you feel safe together?

Can you talk about your problems and feel heard?

Can you talk if something is bothering you?

Do you listen to each other?

Do you talk about having sex and what it means to you or what you want?

Can you talk openly about what you want out of the relationship and your boundaries?

Birth control, if it is heterosex, have you discussed this?

Health status, are there any concerns that you need to share?

STI testing, and if there has been recent possible exposure to an STI.

Sexual activity level, if you want a monogamous relationship, or they want multiple partners, it is ok to have any form of agreement as long as all parties involved are informed and feel that their decisions are respected.