CDC Statistics  gonorrheaInfections increased by 18.6 percent from 2016 to 2017, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention  https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-complications/gonorrhea-in-pregnancy-9054/ Possible Symptoms
  It may be hard to tell STIs apart, testing is neededChlamydia  Genital Herpes  HIV and Syphilis  Local Resources
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What is health?Health: the overall well being of you body, mind, and relationships with other people Types of health Physical health: how well your body functions Mental health: the state of being comfortable with yourself, with others, and with your surroundings Emotional health: how you react to events in your life, your mind is alert, you can learn from your mistakes, and recognize your achievements Social health: how well you get along with others, have loving relationships, respect the rights of others, give and accept help Wellness: ideal level of health Common TermsLife expectancy: the number of years a person can expect to live Quality of life: the degree of overall satisfaction that a person gets from life Goals: a result that a person aims for and works hard to reach Risk factors: any action or condition that increases the likelihood of injury, disease, or other negative outcome Habits and behavior: habits and behaviors are repeated so often that they become almost automatic Influences: anything that can affect your decisions, habits and behaviors What impacts our health related decisions?Culture: What we learn from people in our community Friends and people at school: What we hear from others Advocacy: using communication to influence and support others in making positive decisions, could be public speakers or public service announcements Advertising: any effort to sell you products or services We can set personal goals that improve healthTo make sure your goals are clear and reachable, each one should be SMART:
THink of the worst and be prepared, but hope for the bestSafety planning is about brainstorming ways to stay safe that may also help reduce the risk of future harm. Some Ideas to considerPlan ahead if you go out Think of who you can call for help in case you feel stuck or stranded. Think of how you will get places and how you will get back. If you have a ride back, coordinate to make sure what time you plan to leave and where you will meet. Use a watch If you are going to a place that you are unfamiliar with, bring your own food, water and snacks. Keep an energy bar in your pocket in case you get hungry Get to know people before you go to their house. If you decide to drink, remember what binge drinking is: more than three-four drinks Drink water between alcoholic beverages, preferably water that you bring, or water from the faucet that you get yourself, if you are given a water bottle make sure the seal is not broken. Consider non-alcoholic drinks. Don't accept open drinks from people. Count your own drinks, even if you have to use a sharpie to mark your hand and keep a tally, when people offer you drinks it is easy to lose track. Bring your own ibuprofen or acetaminophen in case you have a headache. Single use packets are convenient and you can bring a extra for a friend.  Don't take drugs from strangers, if you decide to buy a drug, you don't know what it really is, it could be laced with meth or fentanyl. It's ok to say no, even to the cool guy that is the life of the party. If someone reaches over your drink, it's ok to abandon the drink, especially if someone distracted you while someone else reached over your drink, it is common for people that are acquaintances (not quite friends) to do this, unfortunately. If you see someone have a bad reaction, don't assume they are just drunk, this is not normal, call 911. If a friend is slurring, unable to walk, or looks lost, take them to the emergency room, get out of the situation, then go home. Do not leave them alone.   Remember some self-DEFENSE Moves that you will hopefully never use, good to know for people of any genderIf anyone harms you it is never your fault, only the attacker is at fault |
| White Chyna Meth Cocaine Coke | Angel Dust Speed Crack Lean |
Hard drugs are addictive substances and people end up having a very hard time when they want to stop. The bad withdrawal effects lead users to seek more of the drug to relieve the withdrawal.
Lean
Mixing opiates and alcohol is particularly bad, a person can stop breathing and die because their nervous system may be depressed to the point of no longer sending the signal to the lungs to breathe.
Hard drugs can be prescribed Medication or street pressed versions of prescription medication
Opiates (heroin,hydrocodone (Vicodin)
Oxycodone (Oxycontin,Percocet), morphine)
Benzodiazepines (diazepam)(Valium)
Alprazolam (Xanax),
Flunitrazepam (Rufilin)
Clonazepam (Klonopin)
Lorazepam (Ativan))
Methamphetamine (meth)
Cocaine
Alcohol
GHB
and Nicotine.
Opiates (heroin,hydrocodone (Vicodin)
Oxycodone (Oxycontin,Percocet), morphine)
Benzodiazepines (diazepam)(Valium)
Alprazolam (Xanax),
Flunitrazepam (Rufilin)
Clonazepam (Klonopin)
Lorazepam (Ativan))
Methamphetamine (meth)
Cocaine
Alcohol
GHB
and Nicotine.
New substances to worry about
Very dangerous and relatively new drugs:
Krokodil
Fentanyl
Bath Salts/ Flakka
Spice
Krokodil
Fentanyl
Bath Salts/ Flakka
Spice
Fentanyl and Carfentanyl
Carfentanyl is dangerous and may cause death with very small amounts.
Lethal Amounts of Fentanyl:
Narcan can be bought at a pharmacy and can stop an Opioid overdose
Dissociative Drugs
PCP (Phencyclidine)
Ketamine. (may be called K2), K-Hole
DXM (Dextromethorphan)
Salvia divinorum.
Dissociatives produce hallucinogenic effects, which may include sensory deprivation, dissociation, hallucinations, and dream-like states or trances.
Cause their effects by disrupting the actions of the brain chemical glutamate at certain types of receptors—called N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptors—on nerve cells throughout the brain (Morgan, 2012; Morris, 2005).
Salvia divinorum works differently. While classified as a dissociative drug, salvia causes its effects by activating the kappa opioid receptor on nerve cells (Cunningham, 2011; MacLean, 2013). These receptors differ from those activated by the more commonly known opioids such as heroin and morphine.
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/hallucinogens-dissociative-drugs/what-are-effects-common-dissociative-drugs-brain-body
Cause their effects by disrupting the actions of the brain chemical glutamate at certain types of receptors—called N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptors—on nerve cells throughout the brain (Morgan, 2012; Morris, 2005).
Salvia divinorum works differently. While classified as a dissociative drug, salvia causes its effects by activating the kappa opioid receptor on nerve cells (Cunningham, 2011; MacLean, 2013). These receptors differ from those activated by the more commonly known opioids such as heroin and morphine.
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/hallucinogens-dissociative-drugs/what-are-effects-common-dissociative-drugs-brain-body
We are learning more about addiction and how to treat it as a medical illness
Drugs have similar chemical components
Chemical Formulas:
Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) C21H30O2
Psilocybin C12H17N2O4P
LSD C20H25N3O
Cocaine C17H21NO4
Heroin C21H23NO5
Salvia Divinorum C23H28O8
Caffeine C8H10N4O2
Nicotine C10H14N2
Carfentanil C24H30N2O3
Plant sugar sucrose C12H22O11
Small differences can lead to a person not breathing.
When do we experience grief
The five stages of grief are:
- denial.
- anger.
- bargaining.
- depression.
- acceptance.
We can go through a period of grief resolution after losing a person, losing an opportunity, losing something that we worked hard for, losing a relationship, after surviving a tragedy, after hurting others and reflecting on the heavy weight that we have placed upon our consciousness.
All feelings are valid and nobody can tell you how long you can feel what you feel for.
Only you can decide what to do, only you can control how you express your emotions and how to process your stimuli.
Think of constructive, creative ways to process and you could be a light to this world even at your worst.
All feelings are valid and nobody can tell you how long you can feel what you feel for.
Only you can decide what to do, only you can control how you express your emotions and how to process your stimuli.
Think of constructive, creative ways to process and you could be a light to this world even at your worst.
What to know for your driver's exam
New Mexico DWI laws and penalties
1st Offense
- Up to 90 days in jail
- 6 months to 1 year of license revocation
- 1 year of ignition interlock
- DWI school
- Alcohol evaluation
- Community service
- Treatment
2nd Offense
- Between 96 hours and 364 days of jail time
- 2 years of license revocation
- Fine between $500 and $1,000
- 2 years of ignition interlock
- Alcohol evaluation
- Community service
- Treatment
- Up to 5 years of probation
3rd Offense
- Between 30 days and 364 days of jail time
- 3 years of license revocation
- Between $750 and $1,000 fine
- 3 years of ignition interlock
- Alcohol evaluation
- Community service
- Treatment
- Up to 5 years of probation
4th Offense
- Between 6 months and 18 months of jail time
- Lifetime license revocation with 5-year court review
- Up to $5,000 fine
- Lifetime ignition interlock with 5-year court review
- Alcohol evaluation
- Treatment
- Up to 5 years of probation
5th Offense
- Between 1 year and 2 years of jail time
- Lifetime license revocation with 5-year court review
- Up to $5,000 fine
- Lifetime ignition interlock with 5-year court review
- Alcohol evaluation
- Treatment
6th Offense
- Between 18 months and 30 months of jail time
- Lifetime license revocation with 5-year court review
- Up to $5,000 fine
- Lifetime ignition interlock with 5-year court review
- Alcohol evaluation
- Treatment
7th(or Subsequent) Offense
- Between 2 years and 3 years of jail time
- Lifetime license revocation with 5-year court review
- Up to $5,000 fine
- Lifetime ignition interlock with 5-year court review
- Alcohol evaluation
- Treatment
You can break New Mexico DWI laws in other ways too. Additional offenses include:
Aggravated DUI (Having a 0.16 BAC or higher, refusing to take a BAC test, or causing bodily harm while DWI)
- 1st Offense: Additional 2 days of jail time
- 2nd Offense: Additional 4 days of jail time
- 3rd Offense: Additional 60 days of jail time
Driving while License Revoked for DWI
- Additional license revocation period of 1 year
- Additional 7 days to 1 year of jail time
- Additional fine between $300 and $1,000
- 30 days of immobilization for vehicle driven by offender
Selling or Giving Alcohol to a Minor
- Knowingly selling/serving/giving alcoholic beverages to a minor (an individual under the age of 21), or assisting a minor in the purchase of alcoholic beverages, or permitting a minor to consume alcoholic beverages, is a 4th degree felony.
Mental Health information sources
What you need to learn in this course
Reflect on alternatives to health risk behaviors in the areas related to:
(e.g., abstinence, condom use, other pregnancy prevention methods, selection of healthy food choices, “natural highs,” etc.);
How to analyze situations related to health crises and formulate solutions to intervene or prevent the crisis (i.e., a friend tells you he is thinking about suicide; a friend tells you he is smoking, a friend tells you she is pregnant, etc.)
Stages of Grief:
What we learn to do as we reach adulthood:
Food Macronutrients:
Protein, carbohydrates, and fat
Vitamins and minerals are micronutrients
https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/six-essential-nutrients#minerals
- Sexuality: get to know people, do not use people as a distraction, use protection such as condoms, ask people about STIs, ask when the last time they got tested was and if they have any reason to be concerned about STIs since then
- Main STIs
- Bacterial: Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Syphilis
- Viral: Herpes, HIV
- Nutrition: Eat a balanced diet, balance fats, proteins, sugars, vitamins
- Alcohol: Binge drinking, drinking too much is more than 3 drinks
- Tobacco: Tobacco products have about 1,500 unnecessary, toxic chemicals
- Other drug use: look at erowid.org, some drugs are terrible while some may be used as therapy
- Physical activity: exercise 30 min, 3 times per week, at least
- Personal safety: think about the risks involved in an activity before doing the activity, safety plan, think of the things that can go wrong and what you can do to avoid danger
- Mental, social, and emotional well being: create music and art shows, go to your friends music and art shows, talk about how you feel
(e.g., abstinence, condom use, other pregnancy prevention methods, selection of healthy food choices, “natural highs,” etc.);
How to analyze situations related to health crises and formulate solutions to intervene or prevent the crisis (i.e., a friend tells you he is thinking about suicide; a friend tells you he is smoking, a friend tells you she is pregnant, etc.)
Stages of Grief:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
What we learn to do as we reach adulthood:
- How to Mediate Emotion
- How to Take Responsibility
- How to Listen
- How We Learn and How to Apply Our Skills
- How to Communicate
- How to Take Turns
- How to Foster Balance
Food Macronutrients:
Protein, carbohydrates, and fat
Vitamins and minerals are micronutrients
https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/six-essential-nutrients#minerals
mental wellness terms
Personality disorders:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463
Narcissist Personality Disorder:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
Borderline personality disorder:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237
Histrionic Personality Disorder:
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/histrionic-personality-disorder#1
Mental Illness:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/symptoms-causes/syc-20374968
What Is Schizophrenia?
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/schizophrenia/what-is-schizophrenia
What Are Bipolar Disorders?
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/bipolar-disorders/what-are-bipolar-disorders
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463
Narcissist Personality Disorder:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
Borderline personality disorder:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237
Histrionic Personality Disorder:
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/histrionic-personality-disorder#1
Mental Illness:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/symptoms-causes/syc-20374968
What Is Schizophrenia?
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/schizophrenia/what-is-schizophrenia
What Are Bipolar Disorders?
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/bipolar-disorders/what-are-bipolar-disorders
Practice Test QUestions
What is the number one most preventable cause of death in the United States?
A. drinking alcohol
B. smoking tobacco*
C. sexual activity
D. driving recklessly
A 25 year old male has been consuming enough alcohol to become intoxicated every day since the age of 13. What is the long term physical effect of this behavior?
A. headache
B. nausea
C. hang over
D. cirrhosis*
A friend has recently been diagnosed with cancer and refuses to accept treatment. He says, “Nothing is wrong. I’m fine.” What stage of grief is he likely experiencing?
A. anger
B. acceptance
C. denial *
D. sadness
The five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost.
List the correct order of steps for decision making.
A. define the problem, list the possible options, decide and act, evaluate end result*
B. evaluate end result, list the possible options, rethink the problem, decide and act
C. define the problem, reevaluate the problem, think about answers, act
D. list possible options, decide on action, evaluate end result, act
Andrew’s friend Angela tells him that she is very depressed. What is the best way for Andrew to help her?
A. Andrew should keep it secret and hope the situation improves.
B. Andrew should give Angela his personal advice.
C. Andrew should change the subject as not to upset Angela.
D. Andrew should tell a trusted and knowledgeable adult like a counselor or a teacher. *
What is stress and how do we manage stress?
Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand or threat.
When you sense danger—whether it's real or imagined—the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight/freeze” reaction or the "stress response."
The stress response is the body's way of protecting you.
What influences health behaviors (e.g., messages around sexual behavior, STI/HIV, condom use, exercise, nutrition, violence, alcohol, etc.)?
Compare and contrast how advances in technology positively or negatively impact personal, family, peer and community health (i.e., use of computers and television vs. physical activity time, effects on communication skills, access to medical care, etc.).
What are some consequences of risky and harmful behaviors on self and/or others in the areas related to sexuality; nutrition; alcohol, tobacco and other drug use; physical activity; personal safety; mental, social and emotional well-being?
It’s normal for you to feel worried about risky behavior like:
Know how to read a nutrition label
To figure out price per ounce of a product divide the cost by the ounces.
When one is raped by someone that they barely know it is called acquaintance rape, it usually happens when the victim is intoxicated and isolated, rape is an act of violence/ power and control.
A. drinking alcohol
B. smoking tobacco*
C. sexual activity
D. driving recklessly
A 25 year old male has been consuming enough alcohol to become intoxicated every day since the age of 13. What is the long term physical effect of this behavior?
A. headache
B. nausea
C. hang over
D. cirrhosis*
A friend has recently been diagnosed with cancer and refuses to accept treatment. He says, “Nothing is wrong. I’m fine.” What stage of grief is he likely experiencing?
A. anger
B. acceptance
C. denial *
D. sadness
The five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost.
List the correct order of steps for decision making.
A. define the problem, list the possible options, decide and act, evaluate end result*
B. evaluate end result, list the possible options, rethink the problem, decide and act
C. define the problem, reevaluate the problem, think about answers, act
D. list possible options, decide on action, evaluate end result, act
Andrew’s friend Angela tells him that she is very depressed. What is the best way for Andrew to help her?
A. Andrew should keep it secret and hope the situation improves.
B. Andrew should give Angela his personal advice.
C. Andrew should change the subject as not to upset Angela.
D. Andrew should tell a trusted and knowledgeable adult like a counselor or a teacher. *
What is stress and how do we manage stress?
Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand or threat.
When you sense danger—whether it's real or imagined—the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight/freeze” reaction or the "stress response."
The stress response is the body's way of protecting you.
What influences health behaviors (e.g., messages around sexual behavior, STI/HIV, condom use, exercise, nutrition, violence, alcohol, etc.)?
Compare and contrast how advances in technology positively or negatively impact personal, family, peer and community health (i.e., use of computers and television vs. physical activity time, effects on communication skills, access to medical care, etc.).
What are some consequences of risky and harmful behaviors on self and/or others in the areas related to sexuality; nutrition; alcohol, tobacco and other drug use; physical activity; personal safety; mental, social and emotional well-being?
It’s normal for you to feel worried about risky behavior like:
- unprotected sexual activity
- sexting
- tobacco smoking, alcohol use and binge-drinking
- illegal substance use
- dangerous driving
- illegal activities like trespassing or vandalism
- fighting
- truancy.
Know how to read a nutrition label
To figure out price per ounce of a product divide the cost by the ounces.
When one is raped by someone that they barely know it is called acquaintance rape, it usually happens when the victim is intoxicated and isolated, rape is an act of violence/ power and control.
How do we make decisions in this area?
What you do should be your decision.
We are influenced by movies, family, peers, religion, relationship partners...
When people have more information they are empowered to choose wisely.
There are some laws to take into consideration:
- In New Mexico, the age of consent is 17 years old.
- If an adult (an individual over the age of 18) has sex with a minor between the ages of 13 and 16, the adult may be prosecuted for 4th degree criminal sexual penetration.
- Your status as a child is important to prevent exploitation
It is important to take risks and benefits into consideration to see what level of physical intimacy you are prepared for.
Risks of moving too fast:
- A negative effect on emotional health
- A negative effect on the relationship, what will the relationship be like afterwards?
- Risk of pregnancy
- Risk of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)
Benefits could be:
- Feeling more connected to your partner, you can feel more connected through emotional intimacy too.
- Feeling empowered to make your own decision
You can feel empowered to make your own decision by not having sex too.
Choosing celibacy is safe and autonomous. You can still connect to your partner by getting to know them better and doing fun things together like going on a hike or visiting a museum.
Emotional Intimacy
A couple can have a close relationship without being sexually active through developing:
Openness:
- Feeling free to talk to each other
- Feeling safe being yourself
- Trying new things together
- Building memories
- Sharing insecurities
- Sharing what you are each proud of
Sharing:
- Stories of growth
- Life lessons
- Childhood stories
- Hopes and fears
- Dreams and goals
- Skills and knowledge
Affection:
- cuddling
- Kissing
- Hand holding
- Being openly in a relationship, not hiding the relationship
- Backing each other up, defending each other calmly
Trust:
- Being able to share experiences and feelings without the person violating your trust
- Being able to trust that your boundaries will be respected
- Not having to worry about dishonesty
- Not having to worry about cheating
- Not having to monitor anybody's freedom
Abstinence Skills
- Set clear limits, decide what your boundaries are before the relationship
- Communicate your limits, a respectful partner will respect your limits
- Avoid high pressure situations
- Assert yourself
- This is a great way to practice boundary setting and seeing if the other person offers respect.
- If they don't respect you then you can see they they are probably abusive early on and can break up with them without wasting your emotional energy.
sex- Ed
Nobody should judge you based on a number or slut shame/prude shame. What matters is that all that happens is truly your decision and you are safe. Many people look back and realize that some of their experiences were the result of coercion and manipulation.
Unfortunately, sexual coercion has become so normalized that we stopped being able to identify it as rape, coerced consent is not consent at all.
It can be difficult to explain coercion to someone who thinks that coercion is ok, they might deny what they did, perhaps only to get away with it and convince you that they did not know any better, perhaps because they don't want to see themselves as a rapist.
Rape, Sexual Assault
A rapist can be a person of any sex or gender.
For sex positive consent look at this checklist:
- Do you trust each other?
- Do you feel safe together?
- Can you talk about your problems and feel heard?
- Can you talk if something is bothering you?
- Do you listen to each other?
- Do you talk about having sex and what it means to you or what you want?
- Can you talk openly about what you want out of the relationship and your boundaries?
- Birth control, if it is heterosex, have you discussed this?
- Health status, are there any concerns that you need to share?
- STI testing, and if there has been recent possible exposure to an STI.
- Sexual activity level, if you want a monogamous relationship, or they want multiple partners, it is ok to have any form of agreement as long as all parties involved are informed and feel that their decisions are respected.
- Do you feel you need to have alcohol or drugs to have sex?
- Do you know how to use condoms and dental dams to prevent STIs?
- Do you both want to do it? Do you both feel ready to do it?
- Is anybody pressuring anybody?
- All partners need to have equal say in what is going on.
- An equal share of power and control in the relationship.
Consent is vital
- Sex without consent is rape
- Sexual contact without consent is assault or rape
- Rape is not something that necessarily/or usually happens with a stranger
- It is usually very subtle and starts with someone that you know and trust, we think of it as violent or physically restraining.
- A "friend" might objectify you and see you as a toy or person that is just there for sexual gratification.
- Your feelings and values might not matter to them at all, they are not a real friend :(.
- There could be an unfortunate lack of empathy, recognizing this can be painful, also lifesaving.
- It can be inappropriate touching that activates a natural body response, if you did not want this to begin with it can be confusing and make you wonder if you want it now.
- Listen to yourself to reflect on your intent in the interaction, if you were not interested in sex then you might be experiencing manipulation or coercion.
- The perpetrator may use pressure manipulation, drugs, alcohol, and force, or "seduction" to get the person to cross the boundaries of the relationship.
- Is essential, not a favor, or a sign of a particularly good person
- Sex is never owed, it does not matter if you have had sex before, if the bought you a gift or dinner, even if you are naked.
- You always have the right to revoke consent, a healthy partner will respect this
- If you feel that the relationship has changed, it needs to be ok to have a conversation about what changes you have noticed without feeling shamed or invalidated
No means No
Things rapists say
TO get you isolated (these are not always said with bad intent)
- Let's Netflix and Chill
- Let's play videogames at my house
- Let's watch a movie
- Let's study in my dorm
- Let's go on a trip somewhere
- Can I walk you to your car? (and the cross your boundaries)
- Let's walk to the party, it is not so far, leave your car here.
- I need to get something from my room real quick, want to come?
- Invited you to a party, but did not invite anyone else
To justify rape/ coercion
- One thing led to another
- Once I start I can't stop
- I can't kiss someone without wanting more
- I am just seducing you
- Some people just have a stronger sex drive
- Don't you like being dominated?
- This is my role in the relationship
- I thought "no" meant yes
- People don't usually mean it when they say "no"
- You led me on by dancing
- You led me on by making eye contact
- You led me on by dressing that way
- The way that you are dressed tells me that you want a certain kind of attention
- I will have blue balls if you don't help me
- Friends are supposed to be there for each other
- If you really cared, you would help me with my sexual needs
- If you are adults: "We are both adults aren't we" (being an adult does not mean you Automatically consent
- You are playing hard to get
- Are you always this sexually conservative?
- Are you a prude?
- You are a prude
- You are uptight
- You are close minded
- Oh, you're one of those
- Relax
- I am not used to having to work this hard
- Don't make me make you
- Accepting your no, and then asking again
- "So, that is why people have had to rape you"
After raping
- I did not know it was wrong
- You call that rape?
- You're suggesting I'm a monster
- This is not rape and you must be traumatized by a previous experience or story. (if you feel violated there is a reason)
- I feel so ashamed I thought I was better
- You are not allowed to bring it up again.
- I did not know I was like this, you brought out this side of me
- Telling you that they are sad and need your support
- I thought you wanted it too
- Am I really that ugly or unattractive?
- This is the only way I know how to get sex.
- People who are rejected often resort to this because they have needs.
- Did you not like the sex?
- Do you still think I'm cute?
- I thought we were friends, that is what friends do for each other.
- I feel rejected
- I was taught that this was normal
- This is all I know
- I did not mean to hurt you but I will say sorry anyways just because I care about you
- I did nothing wrong, I was just following my heart, but if it means anything, sorry
- There is nothing wrong with two people who consent to engage in sexual activity (even though you are trying to communicate about how it was not consent)
- I won't do it again
- I did it with a lot of love
- I can see why people have had to rape you
If you want to leave them because they raped you
- You are overreacting
- You're so sensitive
- This is a natural need, you are here to fulfill that need
- That is all it takes to lose you?
- You don't know how to love if you are willing to break up with someone that easily.
- It was just one time
- Everyone deserves a second chance
- Most people don't speak out about this
- Most people would stay
- Insults and name calling
- Threats to spread rumors about you
- Saying that you actually raped them
If it does not feel right, just leave, you don't owe an explanation, In a healthy relationship all people involved are free to go at any time.
If you give someone another chance and they continue to be abusive, it is not your fault. If it was a learned behavior they can choose to change. Only the abuser is responsible for the abuse.
Why is it important to talk about this?
Rape culture a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. We are breaking away from this, the myth of being "stuck in our ways" has been dismantled, people are constantly evolving, evaluating, and changing. People can change themselves, when they want to.
Rape can happen to anyone, we do have some normalized phrases and attitudes that normalize the rape of women by men.
Rape culture a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. We are breaking away from this, the myth of being "stuck in our ways" has been dismantled, people are constantly evolving, evaluating, and changing. People can change themselves, when they want to.
Rape can happen to anyone, we do have some normalized phrases and attitudes that normalize the rape of women by men.
Examples of Rape Culture:
- Blaming the victim (“She asked for it!”)
- Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)
- Sexually explicit jokes
- Tolerance of sexual harassment
- Inflating false rape report statistics
- Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history
- Gratuitous gendered violence in movies and television
- Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive
- Defining “womanhood” as submissive and sexually passive
- Pressure on men to “score”
- Pressure on women to not appear “cold”
- Assuming only promiscuous women get raped
- Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only “weak” men get raped
- Refusing to take rape accusations seriously
- Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape
According to current statistics:
One in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives: https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics
Rape is under reported due to shame, lack of consequences, and retaliation for reporting on behalf of the rapist.
Some people think that other people are just there to use for sex and prefer to keep them around as "friends" so they can use them whenever they want, so many rapists keep victims around as friends.
Since rape is about power and control, the rapist makes sure that they have a sense of power and control over the victim before raping, it could be reminding a woman that men are stronger to make sure that the woman believes that they cannot fight their way out of rape.
One can fight their way out of rape, and also, should never have to.
- Rape is not about love, it is about power and control, manipulation, and coercion.
- It is active oppression.
- You deserve to make decisions about sex on your own volition.
- Follow your intuition and trust yourself.
- Many abusive partners start the relationship with sexual coercion
- Getting away from a rapist may mean having to find new friends, if the friends want to keep the rapist around. You may need to stay at home to avoid a dangerous person.
- Not all social circles accept rapists; a healthy community will talk to the rapist and clarify that the behavior is violent, they may refer them to resources such as articles about rape, most of the time the rapist is completely aware that what they are doing is wrong because they were raised to believe they are entitled to do what they did. A healthy community will ask rapists to stay away.
- You deserve a safe community that cares about consent.
- It is not right for people to tell you that it is your job to set boundaries and tolerate the community rapist, people who say that are justifying rape and creating a community that is rapist friendly.
- People who say "just set boundaries and tell people to f off" usually experience privilege and are not the target of rapists, they are usually men who are blind to their privilege
- It is great to know how to set boundaries, if a person is a rapist then they are dangerous, the danger can escalate so it is not up to you to set boundaries to stay safe
- Nobody should be hurting you in any way
victim blaming
Here are some examples of victim blaming lines:
Saying these things propagates abuse and helps abusers.
https://msmagazine.com/2013/05/28/rape-splaining-10-examples-of-victim-blaming/
- Abusers benefit from victim blaming
- Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them.
- Culture is shaped by what we are taught to say in certain situations, most of the time we are programmed to say victim blaming things so reflecting on the things that are commonly said to survivors is very important.
Here are some examples of victim blaming lines:
- What did you expect?
- Did you drink?
- What did you wear?
- Had you consented before?
- Men get these biological urges to rape, they just can’t help themselves.
- The victim did not say no (sometimes people freeze)
- Why didn't you just walk away? (the violence could escalate if you try to get away)
- Why didn't you fight or use pepper spray? (maybe you thought you could trust them not to rape you)
- Why did you go to that place?
- Why are you hanging out at a bar or club?
- Why are you hanging out with people that have tattoos?
- Why are you hanging out with people that dress like that?
- That has not happened to me.
- You are attracting abusers
- You manifest your own reality and are attracting abusers.
- If you had not thought about this you would not have manifested it.
- You have "the look".
- You look easy to take advantage of.
- If you warn people about this rapist, you are violating their privacy.
- The victim’s parents should have taught him/her warning signs.
- The victim should have known what he/she was getting him/herself into.
- In cases of underage perpetrators: The rapist is only a child him/herself.
Saying these things propagates abuse and helps abusers.
https://msmagazine.com/2013/05/28/rape-splaining-10-examples-of-victim-blaming/
What an unhealthy relationship is like
Unhealthy relationships are based on power and control instead of love and respect. These are some unhealthy behaviors.
- Judgemental name calling, trying to get a reaction out of you
- Play fighting to start normalizing hitting
- "Playfully" being rude, to see if they can get away with it
- Looking for your insecurities in order to poke at them
- Lightly pushing you or pretending to hit you
- Asking you where you are at all times
- Controlling what you wear
- Telling you to remove accessories because "they don't like them"
- Not letting you see or talk to friends or family (isolation)
- Trying to get you to move somewhere else (isolation)
- Rushing the relationship and not respecting your boundaries
- Making fun of you in front of your friends
- Making fun of you in front of their friends
- Not "letting" you do what you want, not supporting hobbies or activities
- Not wanting you to go to the gym or be in a dance class because you might cheat
- Not allowing friends because 'you might cheat"
- Tracking you, even with a bitmoji
- Asking for your address before you are ready to share it
- Pressuring you to show them your home before you are ready or wanting to make plans to meet privately when you still want to meet in public places.
- Wanting to know too much information about your family.
- Telling you that your friends and family are against you.
- Trying to be the center of your life and take all of your attention
- Threats of suicide if you leave or go somewhere like a family gathering.
- Asking you to use illegal substances
- Asking you to carry or hide illegal substances
- Trying to get you do do anything illegal.
- Comparing your looks to other people's
- Judging your body
- Telling other people about your body
- Privacy violation, opening your email or social media
- There are many other possible unhealthy behaviors
What a healthy relationship is like
- You feel free to be yourself
- You can share how you feel without feeling ridiculed or shamed
- You have not reason to wonder whether or not your partner will approve of simple decisions like what to wear
- You make decisions together
- You feel respected
- You know you can leave the relationship if you want to
- If you set a boundary you don't need to explain yourself
- If you don't want to share certain information, like where you live or your blood type because you're not ready your partner just says ok
- Your personal goals are supported
- Your family is respected
- Your culture is respected and not put down
- You discuss the goals of the relationship, it is clear what the intent of the relationship is whether you intend to get married later on or just be together temporarily
- There are no secrets
- The person does not disappear for long periods of time and then not tell you where they went so it's a mystery and you're not allowed to talk about it.
- You feel supported and feel you can be supportive toward the person
- You respect them and actually like them for who they are
- You don't want to change anything about them and they don't want to change anything about you.
A healthy relationship is an expression of mutual respect.
AFter you take all of that into consideration, you can reflect on safe sex
An important consideration is Sexually Transmitted Infections/ Diseases (STIs)
Kati Morton, licensed therapist, has a series of videos on Youtube
Dental Dams
One can get an STI from oral sex, or from lesbian sex, the world needs better methods for safe sex in this area, you can invent a new device
 |  |
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/dental-dam
https://www.self.com/story/the-safe-sex-method-youre-not-using
Forms of Contraception
Plan B
PrEP for HIV
Pre-exposure prophylaxis (or PrEP) is a way for people who do not have HIV but who are at very high risk of getting HIV to prevent HIV infection by taking a pill every day. The pill (brand name Truvada) contains two medicines (tenofovir and emtricitabine) that are used in combination with other medicines to treat HIV.
Who is PrEP recommended for?
The USPSTF recommends that the following persons be considered for PrEP:
1. Men who have sex with men, are sexually active, and have 1 of the following characteristics:
2. Heterosexually active women and men who have 1 of the following characteristics:
3. Persons who inject drugs and have 1 of the following characteristics:
Persons who engage in transactional sex, such as sex for money, drugs, or housing, including commercial sex workers or persons trafficked for sex work, constitute another group at high risk of HIV acquisition and should be considered for PrEP based on the criteria outlined above. Men who have sex with men and women are at risk of HIV acquisition and should be evaluated for PrEP according to the criteria outlined above for men who have sex with men and heterosexually active men.
Transgender women and men who are sexually active may be at increased risk of HIV acquisition and should be considered for PrEP based on the criteria outlined above. Transgender women are at especially high risk of HIV acquisition. The CDC estimates that approximately one-fourth of transgender women are living with HIV, and more than half (an estimated 56%) of black/African American transgender women are living with HIV.4 Although trials of PrEP enrolled few transgender women and no trials have been conducted among transgender men, PrEP has been shown to reduce the risk of HIV acquisition during receptive and insertive anal and vaginal sex. Therefore, its use may be considered in all persons (cisgender and transgender) at high risk of sexual acquisition of HIV.
1. Men who have sex with men, are sexually active, and have 1 of the following characteristics:
- A serodiscordant sex partner (ie, in a sexual relationship with a partner living with HIV)
- Inconsistent use of condoms during receptive or insertive anal sex
- A sexually transmitted infection (STI) with syphilis, gonorrhea, or chlamydia within the past 6 months
2. Heterosexually active women and men who have 1 of the following characteristics:
- A serodiscordant sex partner (ie, in a sexual relationship with a partner living with HIV)
- Inconsistent use of condoms during sex with a partner whose HIV status is unknown and who is at high risk (eg, a person who injects drugs or a man who has sex with men and women)
- An STI with syphilis or gonorrhea within the past 6 months
3. Persons who inject drugs and have 1 of the following characteristics:
- Shared use of drug injection equipment
- Risk of sexual acquisition of HIV (see above)
Persons who engage in transactional sex, such as sex for money, drugs, or housing, including commercial sex workers or persons trafficked for sex work, constitute another group at high risk of HIV acquisition and should be considered for PrEP based on the criteria outlined above. Men who have sex with men and women are at risk of HIV acquisition and should be evaluated for PrEP according to the criteria outlined above for men who have sex with men and heterosexually active men.
Transgender women and men who are sexually active may be at increased risk of HIV acquisition and should be considered for PrEP based on the criteria outlined above. Transgender women are at especially high risk of HIV acquisition. The CDC estimates that approximately one-fourth of transgender women are living with HIV, and more than half (an estimated 56%) of black/African American transgender women are living with HIV.4 Although trials of PrEP enrolled few transgender women and no trials have been conducted among transgender men, PrEP has been shown to reduce the risk of HIV acquisition during receptive and insertive anal and vaginal sex. Therefore, its use may be considered in all persons (cisgender and transgender) at high risk of sexual acquisition of HIV.
More partners= higher risk
We have good reason to want to know people on a deeper level before we become more intimately involved
Resources
http://www.scarleteen.com/
https://teenlineonline.org/
Safe LGBT Sex Information
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
https://www.morethantwo.com/
https://www.loveisrespect.org/
https://www.fyinm.org/
https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
http://thesexpositiveparent.com
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