Personality Traits

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What is personality?

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The way that we express who we are, the behaviors, attitudes, feelings, and ways of thinking that make us each an individual. 

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Personality Traits

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• Extroversion vs Introversion: These words are used to describe polar opposites; we are not just one or the other and we might behave differently in different situations.

• If you just met a group of people, you might want to get to know them a bit better before you talk to them more, you might also be interested in learning more about what they like to talk about before deciding what conversations to bring up. This is normal. The group of people might think that you're an introvert, but that is because they have not gotten to know you yet. Take your time with labeling others.

• Remember that a group of people is a group of individuals, there is no "they"
  

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• An extrovert tends to be seen as talkative and sociable while an introvert is identified as shy, quiet, and reserved.  Extroverts tend to seek out other people while introverts are more comfortable spending time on their own.

 

• It is completely normal to be a "mixtrovert", something in the middle, we just tend to define things according to a binary mindset. 

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The 5 big personality traits

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For some it is better to be a high scorer and for some to be a low scorer:

https://nobaproject.com/modules/personality-traits
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There is a Myers & Briggs Personality Test:
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https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

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Personality Development

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Opportunities for self- expression:

Having more experience with breaking out of our comfort zone will influence our personality.

Development of trust: 

An infant depends on others for food, a clean diaper, and affection: if these needs are met, the child learns to trust other people, if these needs are not met, the child learns to mistrust and withdraw.  

• So trust can be influenced before we even learn to speak.
• We can reconnect to trust by experiencing reasons to trust

Learning to be independent: 

As we learn to do things on our own, independence can be considered part of personality, intentional practice matters, find ways to be independent.

• If we master our goals we might feel a healthy sense of power and control within our reality.

• If we fail, and have support, we can try again and thrive, if we fail and are ridiculed we might develop self-doubt, insecurity or shame. 

• We can overcome insecurity and shame... creating a culture of support can prevent the emotional injury.  

 

• Setting new goals and learning new skills can help us overcome self-doubt and regain a balanced sense of power and control.  

 

• Mentioning "sense of power and control" is important because sometimes people will hurt others to mask insecurities. 
  

• Insecure people lack a sense of power and control within their own lives and seek to control others as a way to compensate, a cheap and easy way to have a false sense of power and control is to be a bully, being a bully only pushes people away. 
  

• Seeking a sense of power and control over others by influencing how they feel is a mistake, instead, we can seek a sense of power and control by working on our own emotional stability and sense of security.
  

• Setting goals and working to succeed in being productive and positive members of society gives us a sense of power and control that promotes peace, and a healthy community.

 

• Setting a goal can lead to regaining balance, a good goal can be to accept yourself as you are.

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Ways to learn more about who you are

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Taking initiative: 

We plan our activities and set our goals by reflecting on our personal interests.  As we develop a sense of right and wrong, we might take initiative to speak up against oppression and inequity, this can lead to thinking of new clubs, bands, web sites, and dreams, our level of initiative is part of personality .

Developing skills: 

As we grow, we learn how to take care of ourselves and others, how to have our needs met, we collect study skills, learning skills, social skills, our skills help us feel competent, as we grow, we know that we are closer to reaching our goals because we worked on gaining the skills that we will use to get there.
 
Search for identity: 

A sense of self and identity includes what motivates us to keep on going.  Our frame of mind, or topics of conversation, what we like to do with your free time, what we are working on for ourselves and for others. 

Establishing intimacy: 

We may establish close bonds with others, know that it won’t always go the way we expected, we might find out that a person is not who we thought they were, find ways to honor your boundaries.

Do not give up on the possibility of building a large network of healthy relationships with friends, family and colleagues. 

• If we support others and expect the same in return we build healthy rapport, and a culture of showing up and following through.

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• Intimacy is any sharing of deep thoughts, experiences, a level of trust  

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Create and nurture: 

Help your friends and family-thrive, tell them how they can help you thrive.  Nurture vulnerable populations such as children and the elderly.  Stay up to date with the agencies that serve them, monitor progress and funding sources for public health programs.  Advocate for policies that protect them such as rigorous background checks for anyone that works with them.  Build community events around raising awareness to hold space for artists and musicians.​
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• Look back with acceptance: Celebrate your success and work on new skills every step of the way.  Take risks that you feel comfortable taking and consider the negative possibilities of the risk to see what you can do to avoid them or feel more prepared to face them.  Look up articles and web sites that share tips and tricks.  All we can do is try our best and if things don’t go well, it is not our fault.  Older people tend to regret what they did not do more than what they did do.  Failure is natural and part of the process of growing.

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Personality is connected to confidence

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setting goals

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​To create goals that are clear and reachable, create SMART goals:
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• Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
• Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
• Achievable (agreed, attainable).
• Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).
• Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).

​WEB SITE ON SETTING GOALS, SMART GOALS
​WWW.MINDTOOLS.COM
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Your brain is still developing, what you focus on matters

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Neural Pruning

You will let go of types of brain use that you do not use, use it or lose it. It is a natural process that helps you get better at what you focus on, think of what you focus on now and how that will affect your future.  If you practice thinking of consequences and making plans or setting goals, you will get better and better at it.

​This is wonderful in many ways, use this power wisely.

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Thoughts

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​The more we respect other people, the more we realize that people can be respectful, we are more likely to believe that other can be respectful because if we can do it, so can they

If someone is not respecting you, you can stop engaging, you are free to stop talking to them, we can't change anyone.  You can let them know how they are bugging you but if they shame you or deny your experience then there is nothing you can do about that.

Retaliation often leads to escalation.

We tend to surround ourselves with people that are like us and share our sense of humor, this is the reason some people believe think stuff like "all people are racist" or "all men are sexist", oppression is normalized though "sense of humor" to mask the intent to oppress.  A lot of truth is said in jest as people reveal their innermost values.

A great way to stop saying oppressive things is to stop thinking in an oppressive way.

If we say something oppressive, it is not a "slip-up", it is an expression of our values, we can correct ourselves by remembering where we learned to think this way and unpack our own logic.  Reflect on why you said what you said and apologize to anyone that was hurt.  Sometimes we have to unlearn may things to move forward.

Oppressive means: sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, classist... any form of hate or negativity that aims to put some groups of people over others. 

All oppression is learned.

It is usually a fear of lack of control over a situation, or fear of lack of resources.  For example racism can come from wanting to put people down so they don't feel that they deserve to share space with you.  Racism tends to discourage people from applying to jobs; they might feel that they won't fit in, or will constantly have to cope with racism and be stressed out on a daily basis. 

​A fear of lack of job opportunity can motivate a community to use racism to push people away; it is direct oppression, and it hurts entire communities. 

​This can rob us of the opportunity to learn from each other and even create more jobs.

​Our values affect our personality.