health class compendium?
Compendium: a collection of concise but detailed information about a particular subject
We have made it to the end of the semester, I am proud of each of you for maintaining the focus to make it to this point, for most of you this is your first year in high school and the transition is noteworthy.
In this health class we covered many important topics that can help us stay healthy, please look at the previous posts to review the information.
Please remember to take charge of your own education. The state standards are easy, basic, you will might want to hold yourself to a higher standard. They don’t want to bug us more than they need to over at the state, educators believe that students learn more outside of the classroom and see the EOCs as super easy, common sense, basic material.
Read at home, stay up to date on issues of social justice or anything that you care about, question everything. Education is how we solve problems; we learn about the problems and then see what we can do to stay focused on solutions. Everyone needs this. The more educated you are the more you can help your community, your family, and yourself by connecting the dots after questioning everything, you will be a natural problem solver.
It might not translate into money, it might only translate into peace and health.
In this post you will find some highlights and some statistics that might scare you; awareness can help us prevent many issues and the escalation of dangerous dynamics.
If you see a sketchy dynamic, I don’t propose you try to fix it, I propose you walk away from it and put your energy into whatever is working out well for you.
We only have control over ourselves and our decisions, our decisions are based on our values and justifications.
Break down the reasoning behind every action that you take, you will realize that all other people can do it too.
Sometimes we need therapy, get the therapy, question even what your therapist says, you are the expert of your life and people are there to help and support you. It is wise to take feedback from others after questioning, reflecting, and figuring out who you trust.
If you hurt people and can’t stop, if you feel you can’t control your urge to hurt others, let the people know so they can stay away or see you only in certain situations. Care about their safety.
Sometimes the best people believe that they are the worst.
There is always hope for the unpacking and unlearning of habits that damage your relationships; it is in our best interest to treat other people with dignity and respect.
A Certified Professional Counselor or Psychologist can help us unpack the dynamics.
We also have access to free Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbooks online:
What does it mean to treat people with dignity and respect?
Dignity: the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect, a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect.
Validate: to Support, approve, have evidence of [yes]
Respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Ask yourself what you respect about others, see the parts of them that you respect.
If you feel that you cannot treat a person with dignity and respect, don’t talk to them as much, set boundaries. You most likely have a very valid reason to feel the way you do. Either that, or see if your judgement is based on oppressive thoughts that lead to bias. Reflect on your [why].
If you have to talk to the person because you are in the same group activity or job, see if you can limit the conversation topics to only things that apply to what you are doing and only in front of other people.
The intent to get along with all people generally leads to positive dynamics.
If someone tells you that you hurt them, ask them what you did, listen with the intent to reach a shared understanding of the situation, validate their feelings, and propose a solution that can prevent it from happening again. This only works once, maybe twice.
People who care usually don't end up hurting others because they think of the consequences of their actions before acting and ask for consent before taking action.
Building rapport: Rapport is a state of harmonious understanding with another individual or group that enables greater and easier communication. We build rapport by caring about the shared experience, by listening to the needs and concerns of others and actively caring about their perspective.
When you care and they care, you all have a good team.
Boundaries: a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line, limits on the types of conversation they can bring up, or how close they can be to you.
Reflect on different types of relationships or dynamics in your life and think of the boundaries for each relationship or dynamic.
We have different boundaries with parents, friends, teachers, strangers, people we are romantically interested in... unhealthy people try to cross your boundaries without your consent, this is what we call a [red flag].
Healthy Relationships and things that are generally good to know:
Your needs are just as important as the other person’s needs
A balance is needed to have a healthy relationship
It is important for you to be on the same page as far as the intent of the relationship that you are building.
What are you looking for?
Abuse is when someone does things to you, not with your awareness or permission, they use you. Most people that are abusive feel justified in their actions and are not open to learning why they are abusive. They feel so entitled to using you that they don’t understand why you complain or speak up about their abuse.
The person might lie to you about their intent so you stick around, they might trail you along, and let you think that you are on the same page even though you are not.
We are ultimately in a relationship with ourselves, ask yourself how you would like to be treated and treat yourself in that way.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated when you are actively loving yourself
Remember that you deserve love, love from yourself and from others
These are universal realities that do not depend on sexuality, sex, gender, race, culture, religion…
oppression: prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control. Invalidating someone's existence or right to equality through the SUPPRESSION of educational opportunity, employment, access to meetings, or DENYING a share in the decision making process of a community
We live in communities of validated dynamics. Each community ends up with a range of expectations of human behavior, or a range of acceptable human behavior. If a member of a community is expressing oppressive tendencies, the community can help them unpack their values and justifications for being an oppressor and then decide the boundaries that they will have around that person.
If someone treats you badly when it is just the two of you, you can ask them to only talk to you when other people are around and let them know that they have no consent to be in a room with you alone, any time you feel that they are trying to isolate you, go toward other people. It is very likely that they will not mistreat you in front of others because they know that the community that you are in would not approve of their behavior.
Some forms of abuse are more socially accepted even though they should not be, examples include: calling people bitches or whores, homophibic language, transphobic language, calling people retarded, racist comments or jokes, sexist comments or jokes such as calling a woman a puppy or a pet…
We cannot change anyone, setting boundaries will not change the person, boundaries create safety measures, in a healthy relationship you do not need to set boundaries to create safety measures.
Boundaries are important because we might be in school, work, or a social setting with someone that we do not feel would be a good partner and want to offset their advances.
Abusive people hide their socially unacceptable behaviors in public, only the person they are abusing gets to see their bad behavior because they know exactly what they are doing and will clear the space around them before causing harm.
They will put work into creating a situation in which they can cause harm. They might invite you to their home to watch a movie to isolate you knowing that it is hard to collect evidence of them doing harm.
Reasonable boundaries in a new relationship:
Reasonable boundaries when going to an environment (a place):
Abuse is about feeling a sense of power and control over the other person, abusers might become addicted to the sense of power and control and don’t mind hurting others, they feel entitled, the only thing that matters to them is that sense of power and control. They will cause physical harm, they might sabotage education and jobs, they might destroy cars, they might hurt pets, all to feel a sense of power and control, an illusion.
Boundaries: distancing yourself for safety, it is ok to maintain the boundaries that you feel you need.
If a coworker or other student grabbed your butt and you told your boss but they did not believe you because the corwoker or other students denied doing it, it is ok to keep a 6 foot buffer zone. Sometimes employers will tell survivors to “just avoid the other person”. You might not be in a position to move to another job or class due to lack of support or options. Boundaries are worth a try but it is not fair that people end up working in a hostile work environment that privileges the abuser, it is ok to tell trusted people what you are going through to raise awareness of the work dynamic and have more people keeping an eye on the safety level in the environment.
You can ask the person to stay at a distance from you and to please not talk to you. This all should not happen but unfortunately happens often, you deserve support and to be believed.
Title Nine/ Title IX in schools
Title Nine/ Title IX: Prohibits Sexual Harassment and Sexual Violence Where You Go to School: All public and private elementary and secondary schools, school districts, colleges, and universities (hereinafter “schools”) receiving any Federal funds must comply with Title IX. Under Title IX, discrimination on the basis of sex can include sexual harassment or sexual violence, such as rape, sexual assault, sexual battery, and sexual coercion.
What are a school’s responsibilities to address sexual harassment and sexual violence?
Jobs are legally required to have similar policies that support people that have been harassed.
More attention has been given to workplace harassment because many people, particularly women have been leaving their careers due to lack of support.
Engineering is the most male-dominated field in STEM. It may perhaps be the most male-dominated profession in the U.S., with women making up only 13% of the engineering workforce.
Women make up 20% of engineering graduates, but it’s been estimated that nearly 40% of women who earn engineering degrees either quit or never enter the profession.
Oppression works by normalizing oppressive statements, they are usually presented as “jokes”
Racist jokes, sexist jokes, homophobic, or transphobic jokes are ways to normalize oppression. Not all people make these jokes. You might be surrounded by people who do make these jokes but this dynamic exists in pockets of society where people who so not agree with the oppressive sentiment either go long with the jokes, stay silent, or actively participate as beneficiaries of the oppression.
Entitlement: the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.