What makes a family healthy?
Families are healthy when everyone takes care of themselves, and each other.
Each person has to work on their own self esteem and support the well-being of their family members.
This does not mean that it is anyone's job to make sure that someone else has a high self-esteem.
It is however, our job to not intentionally hurt anyone else's sense of self worth.
VOcabulary from the book
Nuclear family- a couple and their children, any gender or sexuality
Adoption- the legal process through which a couple will take another persons' child into their family
Single parent family- only one parent lives with children
Extended family- group of close relatives living together or near each other, grandparents, teachers, uncles, aunts, or cousins
Blended family- when parents remarry and children from both parents live together
Foster family- when people take care of a child while their biological family is not able to take care of them
All members of the family are meant to share responsibilities, chores and responsibilities can be adjusted according to age.
Youth can help with cleaning and cooking regardless of gender.
Cooking and cleaning are basic life skills.
Household Chores Appropriate for Adolescents of Any Age
What is Self esteem?
Confidence in one's own worth; self-respect.
Respect? a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Many psychologists think that high self-esteem has a positive effect on health, while low self-esteem has a negative effect on health.
Accept yourself and treat yourself well, with self- compassion.
Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
While there is little doubt that low self-esteem is problematic and often leads to depression and lack of motivation, trying to have higher self-esteem can also be problematic if it is done by putting other people down.
Family members get to help each other with
Teaching Everyone Self-COmpassion
Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment: Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.
Common humanity vs. Isolation: Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes.
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification: We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. Acknowledge it, feel what you feel, and let it go. The pain does not define you, the experience does not define you.
Why it can be hard to love ourselves sometimes
Some say that we give ourselves the love that we think we deserve, not what we actually deserve, we each deserve the best.
Sometimes we are taught that we don't deserve to be treated well and we need to unlearn that.
Oppression dynamics can lead us to believe that we don't deserve as much happiness as other people and we end up with internalized oppression.
Lack of Privilege can make us feel limited until we limit ourselves
Sometimes the past and limitations of the adults in our life lead us to hold ourselves back
Everything is constantly changing and the experience of the adult is at least over a decade old, there is still a lot you can learn from them, remember that you might have more opportunities than they did, or live in a more loving world, thankfully.
Healthy Family Dynamic Includes
Caring and Commitment
Respect and Appreciation
Healthy Family Practices
Resolving Conflicts: by focusing on collaboration and compromise
Expressing Emotions: being a safe space for elf expression is critical
Making decisions: as an egalitarian family unit where all members have an equal share in the decision making process
Managing Time: creating goals with timelines that are broken down into smaller steps so the members of the family can keep track of the progress
When the family needs help these services may help: family therapy, support groups, community involvement, individual counseling aside from family therapy
Step 1: Describe the problem:
Step 2: See the other persons point of view:
Step 3: Involve the other person:
Stress Happens when our needs are not being met
What is stress?
Stress is the response of your body and mind to being challenged or threatened.
Positive stress is eustress
awkward situations that help us grow, they cause stress but the result is beneficial for our overall well being
Negative stress is distress
event or situation that causes stress
What are some common stressors
How stress may affect us
Stages of Stress Response
during the alarm stage, your body releases adrenaline into your blood, it causes an immediate change in your body: heart rate speeds up, muscles tense up, breathing speeds up, your attention narrows and you focus on the stressor. (Life hack [as long as alarm stage is not alerting you to something that you need to react to to save your life]: look at your surroundings and notice four items, take note of sounds around you, take your mind off the stressor)
you feel that it is all good because the alarm stage is gone but you still experience the stress, you try to adapt to it and go by your day. Sometimes we react with bottled up, accumulated stress and [small things] set us off. Your body is working hard to cope during the resistance stage and you may be inexplicably irritated, tired, and less able to handle additional stress. Traffic is a common cause of this state or resistance.
Your body can no longer keep up with the demands placed on it, depleted emotional and or physical state. this happens after a long time of resistance stage, it can happen when we lose a loved one. It is not permanent but it can last years.
PHYSICAL effects of Stress
Signs of stress, pg. 63:
What is stress management
Responses to stress
Time management and coping
Planning and Time Management
To make sure your goals are clear and reachable, each one should be:
Unhealthy Defense Mechanisms
refusing to recognize an emotion or problem, acting as though nothing is wrong
making up for weakness in one area by excelling in another area
Making excuses for actions of feelings
behaving in a way opposite to the way you feel
putting your own faults onto another person
returning to immature behaviors to express emotion
People can work together to create an environment that supports a healthy community, also remember, taxes are meant to promote the common good.
Write three things or ideas that help with each of
these dimensions of wellness:
We are complex beings
We feel far more than happiness, and anger, some people say that we have seven main emotions, some say twelve, Forbes says twentyseven.
Here are some of our human emotions:
Adoration, Amusement, Anger, Awe, Confusion, Contempt, Desire, Disappointment, Distress, Fear, Interest and Sadness
Click below for this interactive map, a collection of videos that evoke certain emotions:
The map is part of a study that was published in Proceedings of National Academy of Sciences by Alan S. Cowen and Dacher Keltner, PhD from the University of California, Berkeley.
Link to the study:
Feelings and Science
Cannon-Bard Theory of Emotion
James- Lange Theory of Emotion
Being aware of what we are feeling before taking action
The plan for the Semester in Health
August 3 to August 7
What is Health class?
August 10 to August 14
August 17 to August 21
August 24 to August 28
August 31 to September 4
September 7: off
September 8 to September 11
General health: eating, lung health, digestion, liver
September 14 to September 18
Movement and coordination, exercise
September 21 to September 25
Family planning, safe sex
September 28 to October 2
Exam, discussion topics
October 5 to October 9
October 12 to October 15
School Break: October 16
October 19 to October 23
October 26 to October 30
Stages of grief and recovery from loss
November 2 to November 6
Responsible alcohol consumption
November 9 to November 13
Drugs Part 2
November 16 to November 20
Safety planning: planning ahead for transportation, food, drink, personal needs
November 23 to November 27: Break
December 1 to December 4
Reading food labels
December 7 to December 11
Exam and review
December 14 to December 18
Discussion Circles, self expression ways to build community
End of course
December 21 to January 5: Winter Break
What is personality?
The way that we express who we are, the behaviors, attitudes, feelings, and ways of thinking that make us each an individual.
The 5 big personality traits
For some it is better to be a high scorer and for some to be a low scorer:
There is a Myers & Briggs Personality Test:
Opportunities for self- expression:
Having more experience with breaking out of our comfort zone will influence our personality.
Development of trust:
An infant depends on others for food, a clean diaper, and affection: if these needs are met, the child learns to trust other people, if these needs are not met, the child learns to mistrust and withdraw.
Learning to be independent:
As we learn to do things on our own, independence can be considered part of personality, intentional practice matters, find ways to be independent.
Ways to learn more about who you are
We plan our activities and set our goals by reflecting on our personal interests. As we develop a sense of right and wrong, we might take initiative to speak up against oppression and inequity, this can lead to thinking of new clubs, bands, web sites, and dreams, our level of initiative is part of personality .
As we grow, we learn how to take care of ourselves and others, how to have our needs met, we collect study skills, learning skills, social skills, our skills help us feel competent, as we grow, we know that we are closer to reaching our goals because we worked on gaining the skills that we will use to get there.
Search for identity:
A sense of self and identity includes what motivates us to keep on going. Our frame of mind, or topics of conversation, what we like to do with your free time, what we are working on for ourselves and for others.
We may establish close bonds with others, know that it won’t always go the way we expected, we might find out that a person is not who we thought they were, find ways to honor your boundaries.
Do not give up on the possibility of building a large network of healthy relationships with friends, family and colleagues.
Create and nurture:
Help your friends and family-thrive, tell them how they can help you thrive. Nurture vulnerable populations such as children and the elderly. Stay up to date with the agencies that serve them, monitor progress and funding sources for public health programs. Advocate for policies that protect them such as rigorous background checks for anyone that works with them. Build community events around raising awareness to hold space for artists and musicians.
Personality is connected to confidence
To create goals that are clear and reachable, create SMART goals:
Your brain is still developing, what you focus on matters
You will let go of types of brain use that you do not use, use it or lose it. It is a natural process that helps you get better at what you focus on, think of what you focus on now and how that will affect your future. If you practice thinking of consequences and making plans or setting goals, you will get better and better at it.
This is wonderful in many ways, use this power wisely.
The more we respect other people, the more we realize that people can be respectful, we are more likely to believe that other can be respectful because if we can do it, so can they
If someone is not respecting you, you can stop engaging, you are free to stop talking to them, we can't change anyone. You can let them know how they are bugging you but if they shame you or deny your experience then there is nothing you can do about that.
Retaliation often leads to escalation.
We tend to surround ourselves with people that are like us and share our sense of humor, this is the reason some people believe think stuff like "all people are racist" or "all men are sexist", oppression is normalized though "sense of humor" to mask the intent to oppress. A lot of truth is said in jest as people reveal their innermost values.
A great way to stop saying oppressive things is to stop thinking in an oppressive way.
If we say something oppressive, it is not a "slip-up", it is an expression of our values, we can correct ourselves by remembering where we learned to think this way and unpack our own logic. Reflect on why you said what you said and apologize to anyone that was hurt. Sometimes we have to unlearn may things to move forward.
Oppressive means: sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, classist... any form of hate or negativity that aims to put some groups of people over others.
All oppression is learned.
It is usually a fear of lack of control over a situation, or fear of lack of resources. For example racism can come from wanting to put people down so they don't feel that they deserve to share space with you. Racism tends to discourage people from applying to jobs; they might feel that they won't fit in, or will constantly have to cope with racism and be stressed out on a daily basis.
A fear of lack of job opportunity can motivate a community to use racism to push people away; it is direct oppression, and it hurts entire communities.
This can rob us of the opportunity to learn from each other and even create more jobs.
Our values affect our personality.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.