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3/20/2019

COnflict

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why conflict happens



​Hate violence


  • Prejudice and intolerance
  • Discrimination
  • Being taught negative things about a group of people
  • Oppression

Arguments
​
  • Anger
  • Revenge
  • Hurt Pride and Embarrassment
  • Escalation
  • Peer Pressure
  • Wanting power and control over others

Mediating conflict



​Emphasize you neutrality

Establish Guidelines


  • Be as honest as possible
  • Keep what is said confidential unless someone is in danger
  • Don't name call or swear
  • Son't interrupt the other person
  • Take an active part n finding a solution 
  • Let each person express their point of view
  • Listen actively
  • Identify each persons goal
  • Explore possible solutions
  • Be patient, give each other time

Fighting words?
​
  • Wanna fight?
  • Throw a punch.
  • Hit me, you won't? tying to get you to throw the first punch 
  • Let's square up!
  • Bite me.
  • F you buddy.
  • You are a _________ judgement.
  • I'm an honor student.
  • Throw your mom into it.
  • Racial slurs.
  • What you say "gang associated word"
  • Bluffing: being over
  • Aggressive
  • My son has good grades.
  • Bring kids into the situation "your kid will turn out just like you"​
    • ​bringing kids into it is childish
  • What are you looking at?
  • You got a problem bro, you wanna go?
  • Staring
​

things people say to make other people upset



  • Your art needs more work
  • You are missing a step with every move, you add a step, you're not in sync with the group
  • You look like you did not sleep well
  • You look terrible
  • You looked better yesterday
  • Is that the main group and you are the secondary group?
  • Their skills are better than yours
  • Any form of division,making you feel like you are not doing as well 
  • Pointing out your differences
  • Saying that people like you do certain things
​

Preventing fights



​Tell the person that you choose not to fight and are sure you can fins a solution

When to ignore a conflict:

​
  • You will probably never see the person again
  • The person is not very important to you
  • The conflict is based on rumors that can be overlooked
  • The conflict is about something trivial or silly
  • A person is trying to get you in trouble by provoking  fight

Be flexible

Learn to control your anger
​
  • Think of coping mechanism that help you feel at ease
  • Walk away from upsetting situations
  • You don't owe anyone an explanation

Confronting a person wisely

  • Choose the time and place carefully
  • Stay calm
  • Be unexpectedly willing to collaborate on finding  solution
  • Negotiate a solution
  • Be willing to apologize
  • Be willing to accept the other persons apology, unless what they did is a non-negotiable cross of boundary
  • See if you need to involve an adult
  • Bystanders can
    • Scream
    • Someone can go get an adult
    •  Make a video to show adults, or to show the person so they know what happened
    • Not jump in
    • People feed into it and become part of the problem
    • Play calm music
    • Don't relay and insult from one person to another
    • Stay away from any area where you you know there might be conflict 

​

Restorative justice


Picture
https://prospect.org/article/six-charts-explain-why-our-prison-system-so-insane

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