COnflict

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why conflict happens

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​Hate violence

• Prejudice and intolerance
• Discrimination
• Being taught negative things about a group of people
• Oppression

Arguments
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• Anger
• Revenge
• Hurt Pride and Embarrassment
• Escalation
• Peer Pressure
• Wanting power and control over others

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Mediating conflict

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​Emphasize you neutrality

Establish Guidelines

• Be as honest as possible
• Keep what is said confidential unless someone is in danger
• Don't name call or swear
• Son't interrupt the other person
• Take an active part n finding a solution 
• Let each person express their point of view
• Listen actively
• Identify each persons goal
• Explore possible solutions
• Be patient, give each other time

Fighting words?
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• Wanna fight?
• Throw a punch.
• Hit me, you won't? tying to get you to throw the first punch 
• Let's square up!
• Bite me.
• F you buddy.
• You are a _________ judgement.
• I'm an honor student.
• Throw your mom into it.
• Racial slurs.
• What you say "gang associated word"
• Bluffing: being over
• Aggressive
• My son has good grades.
• Bring kids into the situation "your kid will turn out just like you"​
  • ​bringing kids into it is childish
• What are you looking at?
• You got a problem bro, you wanna go?
  
• Staring

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things people say to make other people upset

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• Your art needs more work
• You are missing a step with every move, you add a step, you're not in sync with the group
• You look like you did not sleep well
• You look terrible
• You looked better yesterday
• Is that the main group and you are the secondary group?
• Their skills are better than yours
• Any form of division,making you feel like you are not doing as well 
• Pointing out your differences
• Saying that people like you do certain things

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Preventing fights

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​Tell the person that you choose not to fight and are sure you can fins a solution

When to ignore a conflict:
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• You will probably never see the person again
• The person is not very important to you
• The conflict is based on rumors that can be overlooked
• The conflict is about something trivial or silly
• A person is trying to get you in trouble by provoking  fight

Be flexible

Learn to control your anger
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• Think of coping mechanism that help you feel at ease
• Walk away from upsetting situations
• You don't owe anyone an explanation

Confronting a person wisely

• Choose the time and place carefully
• Stay calm
• Be unexpectedly willing to collaborate on finding  solution
  
• Negotiate a solution
• Be willing to apologize
• Be willing to accept the other persons apology, unless what they did is a non-negotiable cross of boundary
• See if you need to involve an adult
• Bystanders can
  • Scream
  • Someone can go get an adult
  •  Make a video to show adults, or to show the person so they know what happened
  • Not jump in
  • People feed into it and become part of the problem
  • Play calm music
  • Don't relay and insult from one person to another
    
  • Stay away from any area where you you know there might be conflict 

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Restorative justice

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https://prospect.org/article/six-charts-explain-why-our-prison-system-so-insane

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